TODAY

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Ah, Bank Holiday Monday! The rain pouring outside, as tradition dictates, but still...no work today. I think I'll put on Today and listen to the 7 0'clock news.
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What's the lead story? A professor from a think tank attacks Tory plans. Oh dear. That's bad news for the Tories. In response to the independent professor from the independent think tank's criticisms, the Tories "insist" their plans hold up, says the BBC. Those Tories sound very defensive about it, don't they?
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What's next? Ah, Gordon Brown saying something or other. Here's Norman Smith to report just what Gordon Brown is saying. Yes, Brown's saying that Labour is great and the Tories are rubbish. Oh Norman, while you're there, has Peter Mandelson said something nasty about David Cameron? He has! Then you better tell us about that too. Clearly nothing bad has been said about Labour, or you would have reported that as well, wouldn't you?
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What's next? The Lib Dems, the party of the all-seeing Mr Cable. The Lib Dems are promising untold delights for rail travellers. Here's Joe Lynam to tell us about it and faithfully report that it all adds up. The magic beans have been carefully costed and the beanstalks will carry us all as quick as we can say 'abracadabra' to anywhere we want to go in Fairyland. How wonderful!
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I shall now get out of the wrong side of the bed and make breakfast. Then I'll sit down and listen to James Naughtie. That will improve my mood no end. Andrew Lansley is on at 8.10. Naughtie or Humphrys? I'm sure whichever one of them gets to interview the Tory spokesman will give him a fair hearing. Now where are my tablets?
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8
UPDATE 8.12am It's John Humphrys and he has already egged the pudding by calling the think tank that is criticising the Tories "highly respected". They're always "highly respected" when they are criticising the Tories.
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8.16am The interruptions are really flying at Andrew Lansley and John Humprhys has repeated that the critical think tank is "highly respected". Mr Lansley must be feeling like one of those people in Scotland caught up in that freak hailstorm last week.
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8.18am Humphrys is really hammering away at Mr Lansley, slapping him down like a naughty schoolboy for daring (for the first time) to mention Labour. This is a very aggressive interview.
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8.21am Well, it's over. After not saying 'good morning' to Andrew Lansley at the beginning (until Mr Lansley said 'good morning' to him, and then doing so with a laugh) to saying 'thank you' at the end in as unfriendly a way as possible, John Humphrys hardly paused for breath there. It's a wonder he didn't rupture a blood vessel.
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That interview lasted 7 minutes 11 seconds, and contained 19 interruptions, resulting in a massive interruption coefficient of 2.7.
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FURTHER UPDATE The Today website headlines this story 'Sleight of hand' over Tory cancer drugs pledge.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_8603000/8603174.stm